I think they're cruel. Yes, I do. You see, I'm an incoming 3rd year student. And my adviser/homeroom teacher was supposed to be my English teacher from last year. So when I found out, I was quite happy. WE were happy. Well, that's what she said. I can't read her mind, of course. Anyway, everything was PERFECT. Suddenly, the menopausal head teacher decided to shuffle the teachers again. So instead of having her as my adviser, we got our Religion teacher. But hey! It's cool! Our Religion teacher and I get along really, really well...but I wouldn't choose her over my English teacher. And I just feel bad about it.
I thought God was being unfair to me. But then, if I got what I wanted, wouldn't that be unfair to the other people? The people from the other section who also wanted her to be their adviser? I mean, I can't always get what I want, right? It's like, a lotto. I mean, everyone prays but only one wins the prize. *sigh* I guess I just hate the fact that she WAS SUPPOSED to be my adviser... You know... It's like... You're given a good life and when you're happy with it, they take it away from you. I hate that. I wish she was never supposed to be my adviser in the first place. Or I wish I didn't know.
It's just SO UNFAIR, you know? Fate gave me what I've been wanting to have just to have it snatched back. I want to cry. I pray for this every night. But why won't God answer my prayers? Is it too much to ask for? If it is, then why was she supposed to be our adviser? It's just so unfair. I want to know why fate is doing this to me...
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Being Loved (?) by a Pest
Picture this: you are texting; your cellphone suddenly beeps or vibrates, and you are excited. You assume that it is one of your close friends, or it is your 'special someone'. You hurry up and read the message, only to find out that it was actually a 'nobody'.
Oh yes, I have experienced this countless times. The feeling? Very, very disappointing. I thought/would think that it is someone I actually care about. But then, it's the same old pests. I mean, I don't understand why I have this kind of problem.
See, there is this guy. I met him two years ago in a workshop. I admired him for being so athletic- but that's it. I was in love with someone else. He seldom talked to me, but he would always smile. Just like that. And I foolishly thought he was cute. So the workshop ended and we parted ways. I didn't see him since then since he was studying in another school. (A school of less prestige compared to mine. ;p)
Now 2 months ago, I received a message in my Friendster account. It was from him. We talked about a lot of stuff, and then he added me in my Yahoo Messenger and we chatted via YM. He then asked for my cellphone number, and I gave it to him since I knew him personally and he wasn't some kind of a stranger.
Then days passed and we became quite close to each other. He would always say that I'm pretty, but I have never seen him since that workshop two years ago, but I didn't mind. So what? We were just friends.
One day, he suddenly admitted that he had a crush on me two years ago, and that he was just too shy to actually talk to me. I guess everything changed since then. I became cold towards him. Colder and colder... But he was really persistent. He kept on saying that he LOVES me. LOVE? What does he know about love?! We've only been talking for days and he tells me that he's in love would me? And then when I tell him that I don't believe him, he goes all depressed on me. It's as if he's trying to BRIBE my conscience. I'm one who easily feels sorry for people, and he's ABUSING it!
There was even a time when he sent a message to me by mistake. It was for someone else... And the message was, ">girl's name< ko..ü" which translates to "My >girl's name<..ü" My? He's claiming the girl! What does that mean? He even addressed me as one of his chicks! What am I? A slut parading in the streets hoping he'd pick me up?
Okay, so more days passed. Last week, my make-believe son and I went to a mall. There, I bought a new SUN Cellular SIM. I was planning to change my number because he just wouldn't stop. He said that he couldn't stop texting me... Psssh. What a loser. So anyway, as I was about to text everyone about my new number, something hit me. Why would I go through all the trouble for this lowly creature?
But I didn't have the courage to tell him straightforwardly. Why? Because he's such a lame crybaby. And he keeps on making me feel bad for "making him cry". Geez. When I said I want a SENSITIVE guy, I meant someone who is SENSITIVE enough to know when I'm feeling down or something, not someone who easily CRIES over STUPID things.
I've tried every MEAN reply I could think of. When he said that he couldn't live without me, I told him that he was able to survive 15 years without knowing me. This conversation took place a while ago:
ME: Can you please stop texting me?
HIM: I'm sorry... But I can't stop.
ME: You kept on saying that you'll make me happy.. And you can't do it?
HIM: Why? Would you be happy without me in your life?
ME: VERY.
Now he's making me feel sooooo bad and feel sooooo sorry for him.
I'm trying to control my other self.. (Split personality. ^_^) And he tells me stuff like his grandmother died and blah.. Honestly, I wanted to reply, "Umm. I don't remember asking." or "Why are you telling me all of these? Don't you have friends?" Do you guys get my point? It's like, he's using his grandmother's death to make me feel sorry for him and reply to his messages. Instead of bugging someone who's obviously not interested in him, why don't he just pray for his grandmother's soul? I did.
Now I don't know what to do. This ugly piece of crap won't stop bugging me, and I'm controlling myself from bitching coz I know that he'll just CRY, WAIL, and MAKE ME FEEL BAD. One day, I might not be able to control the other side of me... And I don't even want to think about what I'd do to him.
Oh yes, I have experienced this countless times. The feeling? Very, very disappointing. I thought/would think that it is someone I actually care about. But then, it's the same old pests. I mean, I don't understand why I have this kind of problem.
See, there is this guy. I met him two years ago in a workshop. I admired him for being so athletic- but that's it. I was in love with someone else. He seldom talked to me, but he would always smile. Just like that. And I foolishly thought he was cute. So the workshop ended and we parted ways. I didn't see him since then since he was studying in another school. (A school of less prestige compared to mine. ;p)
Now 2 months ago, I received a message in my Friendster account. It was from him. We talked about a lot of stuff, and then he added me in my Yahoo Messenger and we chatted via YM. He then asked for my cellphone number, and I gave it to him since I knew him personally and he wasn't some kind of a stranger.
Then days passed and we became quite close to each other. He would always say that I'm pretty, but I have never seen him since that workshop two years ago, but I didn't mind. So what? We were just friends.
One day, he suddenly admitted that he had a crush on me two years ago, and that he was just too shy to actually talk to me. I guess everything changed since then. I became cold towards him. Colder and colder... But he was really persistent. He kept on saying that he LOVES me. LOVE? What does he know about love?! We've only been talking for days and he tells me that he's in love would me? And then when I tell him that I don't believe him, he goes all depressed on me. It's as if he's trying to BRIBE my conscience. I'm one who easily feels sorry for people, and he's ABUSING it!
There was even a time when he sent a message to me by mistake. It was for someone else... And the message was, ">girl's name< ko..ü" which translates to "My >girl's name<..ü" My? He's claiming the girl! What does that mean? He even addressed me as one of his chicks! What am I? A slut parading in the streets hoping he'd pick me up?
Okay, so more days passed. Last week, my make-believe son and I went to a mall. There, I bought a new SUN Cellular SIM. I was planning to change my number because he just wouldn't stop. He said that he couldn't stop texting me... Psssh. What a loser. So anyway, as I was about to text everyone about my new number, something hit me. Why would I go through all the trouble for this lowly creature?
But I didn't have the courage to tell him straightforwardly. Why? Because he's such a lame crybaby. And he keeps on making me feel bad for "making him cry". Geez. When I said I want a SENSITIVE guy, I meant someone who is SENSITIVE enough to know when I'm feeling down or something, not someone who easily CRIES over STUPID things.
I've tried every MEAN reply I could think of. When he said that he couldn't live without me, I told him that he was able to survive 15 years without knowing me. This conversation took place a while ago:
ME: Can you please stop texting me?
HIM: I'm sorry... But I can't stop.
ME: You kept on saying that you'll make me happy.. And you can't do it?
HIM: Why? Would you be happy without me in your life?
ME: VERY.
Now he's making me feel sooooo bad and feel sooooo sorry for him.
I'm trying to control my other self.. (Split personality. ^_^) And he tells me stuff like his grandmother died and blah.. Honestly, I wanted to reply, "Umm. I don't remember asking." or "Why are you telling me all of these? Don't you have friends?" Do you guys get my point? It's like, he's using his grandmother's death to make me feel sorry for him and reply to his messages. Instead of bugging someone who's obviously not interested in him, why don't he just pray for his grandmother's soul? I did.
Now I don't know what to do. This ugly piece of crap won't stop bugging me, and I'm controlling myself from bitching coz I know that he'll just CRY, WAIL, and MAKE ME FEEL BAD. One day, I might not be able to control the other side of me... And I don't even want to think about what I'd do to him.
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